Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Just Friends

Two words men don’t want to hear from women; just friends.

It was sad yet funny story that happened when I was in my second year of secondary school. Year 8, to be precise. I didn't believe when people said that man and woman can't be best friends, until it happened to me.

I had a boyfriend (read: a boy as a friend, not a date) named Jack*. We were classmates for several times since primary until secondary school. He was my neighbor as well. We used to go to school on foot and spent some times to study and play around together most of the time. We were very closed enough, as best friends.

I didn’t really give a damn to public’s opinion about my relationship with Jack. All I knew, he was my best friend; in need and indeed. In fact, I was still 13 and didn’t intend to commit any other relationship so-called puppy love. Sad but true, it wasn’t on my priorities list. Besides, I will never ever take lovers from friends, cos it’s gonna hurt me double. Why? You and I know for sure, when the relationship is over, it won’t be the same like it used to be. There will be awkward post-break-up moment, and he can’t be my best friend anymore. Conclusively, I lose a boyfriend and my best friend. Sorry it’s not an option. I won’t dare.

I had never expected that he would have special feelings on me. And apparently, I was totally wrong. He wanted more than just friends. He wanted me to be his girlfriend. I was really shocked yet didn’t know what to say “God this can’t be happened”. He conveyed his feelings through a two-page letter neatly wrapped in a pink envelope. That was cute.

I don’t remember exactly what he wrote since I had thrown away as soon as I read it. But I still remember he said he loved me, and it was better to say than never. It made him relieved if he told me so. Jack insisted me to give him a reply, by letter.

Unfortunately, I didn’t give what he wished. I gave my reply directly in front of his face after school, on the following day. I said things like I’m sorry, we’re just friends. I can’t give you more than that. I’m sorry. You’re my best friend and I don’t want to change it.

Then, I walked away from him. Things were different ever since. I didn’t want to talk or even meet Jack in person. I avoided him when we were passing the same alley. I was obviously acting very weird, and he realized it. Three days afterwards, Jack rang to my house. He was asking me why I had been acting so weird lately. He apologized if it was his fault. I said nothing.

We graduated on 2001 and went to different high school. We were not closed as we used to be. Somehow I regretted it. He was a nice boy.

I started dating at year 10, just for fun. It didn’t last long. And it wasn’t hard for me to find a new one.

The funniest thing about it is that Jack and I never talked about our dating whenever we had conversations. From friends I knew he had undergone some relationships in high school but I didn’t want to discuss or ask him about it. Not even for intermezzo. And he did the same thing too. Probably we are convenient that way.

Eventhough we didn't end up like those at the movies, I was very lucky he didn't hate me. Jack is truly a gentleman.

*Name has been changed in the interest of privacy.

(Movie Picture is taken from


  1. After reading your post for ten minutes (gasp! I never read anything this long in my entire life), I decided that your post is too long for boys to read.

    So lemme summarize.

    Boys only want to be "friends" with attractive girls because he want her to be his fuck buddy/girlfriend/mistress/something else like that.

  2. Hey my name is Jack! I want you to be my girlfriend! Uh... what? Just friends?? Ewww never mind. I think I'm gay anyway.

  3. I'm the king of the world!!!!!11!!1!!1!

  4. @d: Yeah you've got a point. LOL. You mean as playmate? I won't consider it as friend though. Hmm.

  5. That exactly what i told to my ex when i aproaching her especially when my rival stated first! :D

    But when i broke up with her, i realize boy's could'nt be a girl best friend but ex could ;)

  6. Hmm sama dengan ceritaku dulu.
    Habis itu si cowok memang menjauh, tapi setelah bertahun2 gak ketemu akhirnya pas ketemu jadi sobatan lagi.. :)

    iya ya kenapa banyak yang bilang gak bisa kalo just friend.. selalu ada udang dibalik batu. padahal kita udah positive thinking bahwa "he is my best friend" gitu :)

  7. Hey this is Jack again. I'm still gay. But should you broke up with that boyfriend of yours - I still want you to be my girlfriend.

    Call me at (021) 727 6 HOMO


  8. @avante: LOL. Yeah think so. In fact, me and my ex are good friends until now, and feels like more comfortable. Note that I'm good to my ex-es if we break-up peacefully. Ha.

    @fany: bukan udang di balik batu kali Fan. Biasanya kan dari temen jadi demen, hahaha. Love comes anytime, anywhere. :) Bagus donk klo tetep sobatan spt dulu ;)

    @jack: I'll think about it. Don't forget to take registration form first, kay! ;p

  9. Baru sampe rumah neh...wakakak

    bagus tulisannya...

    ka ada kabar bagus lohhh tapi ada buruk nya juga...wakakakkakakak

  10. Having girl bestfriend is nice, we can express our feeling freely and a good place to share...hehe.... I have that and she is in Bandung now. Your post reminds me about her. I miss her,,,,,

  11. In a way, I can't trust deep friendship between men and least one would have a 'deep' feeling toward the other one. But if it's simply a friendship (not soooo close), it's possible.

    BTW, I'm linking your blog up at mine.

  12. "Boys only want to be "friends" with attractive girls because he want her to be his fuck buddy/girlfriend/mistress/something else like that."

    add "furthermore, attractive chicks make good trophy girlfriends/wives or whatever else you can think of."

    another thing, they wanna be friends with girls who are attractive AND dumb or have a lack of self esteem. lets not forget, girls do the same fuckin thing to boys.

  13. hmmm, this is point of view from women side, but in my point of view, it could be done...
    *from a best friend become beloved*, it's my experience..
    let me explain, when i was in senior high school, before i said about my feeling, i made a friendship at the first...
    until i know and sure about her feelings too..
    if i'm sure that she 'really' likes me then i just said to her about my feeling.. and luckily she accept my feeling.
    yes, different people.. different experience.

    ps: devi tolong periksa kalo ada yang salah inggrisnya, malu sama pakarnya. ;) *inggris tarzan*

  14. Nice story. :)

    Lesson learnt, especially for boys:

    For you to love someone), you don't have to ask her to be your girlfriend. Just show her that you love her, be there when she needs you, and shower her with your great attention and care. In no time, you'll realize that she's actually yours. ;)

    *kabur dulu sebelum diserang opini lain yang berseberangan* :) :)

  15. Aaaaauuuououououuuuooooo!!

    Did somebody called?

  16. @septian: girl bestfriend? Ohhh I get what you mean. Glad to hear that.

    @nadiah: thanks, you've been linked too.

    @debbie: hell yeah! For some reasons, I prefer making friends with cute boys or at least -ehm- not that fugly :p

    @joni: LOL. No worries. You've tried at least. As long as I can understand what you're trying to say, I'm cool with that. Well as for your case, you're so lucky then.

    @indra: I know the name for that. TTM (Teman Tapi Mesum --eh salah, Mesra) LOL :p

  17. @indrapr: dude you're oversimplifying things. :P

  18. that's right. a man dont want to hear that 2 word. apalagi tuh cowo' demen banget ma cew yang ia incar. hehehe :)

  19. nice story, i had same story with jack anyway,...yet i indicate a connection between jack story and picture that you put on this blog, and i preseume that you rejected jack just because his "size" didnt fit u,...toooo fat, isnt it

  20. @indra: Hm I think D's right. You need to reconsider your statement when it comes to real life. However, since you're married, I don't think to have an affair is a good idea :p

    @azwar: based on personal experience huh?!

    @heri: LOL. Big mistake dude! He's good; tall, slim, and slender. Weight is not a big deal to me, you must see the pic of my current bf. He's as fat as the pic! LOL.

  21. si om heri dah kek dukun aja maennya tebak2an mulu...lagi demen sama kuis siapa brani ya bos ??? huahuauhauhua

  22. I have a girl best friend since the second year in junior high(year 8) altough right now we rarely keep in touch. And I almost had that special feeling to her. But, finally I realized that that feeling is just a love from a friend to a friend, nothing more and nothing less. So, I still believe that man and woman can be best friends. So.. it works, at least for me :D

  23. No boundaries for being frnzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

  24. Devi you're telling me! eh, kinda mostly problems for guys they have to sort it out? LOL. Or any hormones play main role? whatever. Ah, probably it would be hard for them to stick to the point as well hehe. I'm with you since I've found it would only come to a blue rose expecting 100% pure friendship with him unless he's a gay LOL. Good writing as usual. Keep it up!

  25. Bulan lalu, saya sempat nonton film ini. Dari sahabat ingin menjadi sepasang kekasih.. tapi tetap aja menjadi sahabat...


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