Monday, November 27, 2006

Talk is Cheap

Have you ever made a very big mistake that you are not be able to sleep well and you really wish you were disappeared from the earth? Cos I just did. Two days ago. It was terrible. I did apologize but it seemed that my defensive words came along with the apology. What I did was so stupid and my defensive statement did offend the respondent literally. Oh gosh. I didn't mean to. I swear I didn't.

Back then, when "I'm sorry" is no longer available to be the best phrase to be mentioned, all I can do is crying. Sometimes I really wish if only I could turn back time and fix what was wrong. But then I realize this experience has taught me a lesson; something that I can't learn at school. Yes, experience is the best teacher. Conclusively, my selfishness, ego, and carelessness are great combination to hit me myself right on my face.

If you want to know about how I felt yesterday, let me give you descriptions so that you can figure it out yourself.

3 messages every 15 minutes which explicitly stated I'm sorry, I regret it. No reply.
10 minutes later, I send a message asking whether if I could give a call. Still no reply.
I decided to make a call straight to his mobile phone. It was dialling but no answer. Suddenly user busy popped up on my mobile. My call was rejected.

9 SMS in total, 1 phone call. No reply at all.

I was down. Hopelessly hopeless. I had nobody to help me to get out of this problem. One of my friends encouraged me to keep trying to ask for his mercy, while others just simply said "No worries. Be patient. You shall get over it."

I didn't find what I was looking for. This matter was bugging my sleep. I had insomnia. Thus I prayed in the middle of the night; praying that God would lead the way and told him how much I was sorry for what has happened. I was crying over and over again but since I didn't want to let anyone know, I put eye-cream around my eyes so that they wouldn't get shiner on the following morning.

What I did was wrong. I admit it. I'm sorry. I really am. I regret it. If only I could turn back the time, but we all know it's impossible. Well talk is cheap, hopefully I can keep this thing in mind so that I will never repeat it in the future.

Added later on Wednesday, Nov 29; Thanks a lot guys for your supports! Now let me update you with a good news. He has forgiven me. She has forgiven me too. I am relieved. Thank God.

9 comments:

  1. I dunno what your "sorry" is about, but i must agree that "sorry" is the hardest thing to say. Just remember it takes time for someone to forgive... So, hang in there girl. You can get thru this =)

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  2. sabar ya Dev...
    semangka dunx! :D

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  3. I don't mean to be harsh, but you have already sent your message accross. If that other person doesn't accept your apology, it could be that he's still angry or he just don't care at that moment.

    Take a step back and take a different point of view on life. Hold on and be strong.

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  4. I feel the same sometimes. I wish i could turn back time to fix all the problems. Wish i didn't say stupid statement that hurts others' feeling :(

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  5. people are now easy to say sorry...

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  6. duh.. ketinggalan berita nih :p
    tapi yang penting semuanya dah baik2 aja kan? :D
    emang tuh, kalo ada masalah kaya begitu, bisa bikin susah tidur..

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  7. what i wanna know is what you did... but i digress.


    eh, shit happens ya know. talk is cheap but at least your intentions were sincere and that, baby doll, says a whole lot.

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  8. When people ignore your attempt to say sorry maybe they just need a time to calm down their self...

    Just Be Patient and come after them after a while

    But i glad to see that the problem is over now ^^

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  9. Thanks for your supports, guys! *hugs*

    @hengky: iya, uda baik2 aja heng, makasi ya :)

    @debbie: hm I didn't want to say it briefly but the thing is I failed to keep my words to my boyfriend's mom.

    @avante: yes u're right. Thanks a lot ;)

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