Have you ever made a very big mistake that you are not be able to sleep well and you really wish you were disappeared from the earth? Cos I just did. Two days ago. It was terrible. I did apologize but it seemed that my defensive words came along with the apology. What I did was so stupid and my defensive statement did offend the respondent literally. Oh gosh. I didn't mean to. I swear I didn't.
Back then, when "I'm sorry" is no longer available to be the best phrase to be mentioned, all I can do is crying. Sometimes I really wish if only I could turn back time and fix what was wrong. But then I realize this experience has taught me a lesson; something that I can't learn at school. Yes, experience is the best teacher. Conclusively, my selfishness, ego, and carelessness are great combination to hit me myself right on my face.
If you want to know about how I felt yesterday, let me give you descriptions so that you can figure it out yourself.
3 messages every 15 minutes which explicitly stated I'm sorry, I regret it. No reply.
10 minutes later, I send a message asking whether if I could give a call. Still no reply.
I decided to make a call straight to his mobile phone. It was dialling but no answer. Suddenly user busy popped up on my mobile. My call was rejected.
9 SMS in total, 1 phone call. No reply at all.
I was down. Hopelessly hopeless. I had nobody to help me to get out of this problem. One of my friends encouraged me to keep trying to ask for his mercy, while others just simply said "No worries. Be patient. You shall get over it."
I didn't find what I was looking for. This matter was bugging my sleep. I had insomnia. Thus I prayed in the middle of the night; praying that God would lead the way and told him how much I was sorry for what has happened. I was crying over and over again but since I didn't want to let anyone know, I put eye-cream around my eyes so that they wouldn't get shiner on the following morning.
What I did was wrong. I admit it. I'm sorry. I really am. I regret it. If only I could turn back the time, but we all know it's impossible. Well talk is cheap, hopefully I can keep this thing in mind so that I will never repeat it in the future.
Added later on Wednesday, Nov 29; Thanks a lot guys for your supports! Now let me update you with a good news. He has forgiven me. She has forgiven me too. I am relieved. Thank God.